The Demise of Hog Heaven.

And now it’s all over for poor old pigs like us (because we’re too old to tango..very much) and for poor old pigs like boar hogs. The romantic allure of hog heaven is no more. No more romancing in the pig pen. The sty has gone dry….for handsome hogs.

Hogs in love

He loves her true but all is lost in this modern day of artificial insemination.


You hanging around here this evening , big mama?

Back when being a papa pig was hard work, and a lot of fun too,  there used to be wonderful chances for a poor pig to find love right in his own backyard….sty. Those days are gone. Nowadays over 90% of pig farmers inseminate their sows artificially. This is up from less than 5% in the 1980s. Now one boar can do what 20 boars did back then.

pretty pig

Midnight madness with a sweet sow is no longer the same sweetness.

more laughing hogs

And then Susie said to me, “Horace, you are the most delightful hog I have ever shambled and galumphed with in a mud wallow.”







Don’t you just hate it. This is probably a lot more than you ever wanted to know but a single boar ejaculation can impregnate a whole heap of sows and the precious little piglets will all be pretty much alike especially in shape and size. Grocers and restaurateurs like for their pork chops to be uniform. One bag of boar semen can be transported by express package handlers or even a pickup truck instead of having to move the boars around to the sows. That one bag of semen can service 300 sows when it used to take 20 boar hogs to handle the same job. That’s cold-hearted, really cold-hearted, but true.

looking for mama hogs

Boy I wish they would hurry. I can hardly wait to be artificially inseminated. Maybe that cute FedEx driver will bring the bag.

grinning pig

Farmer Jim may have screwed up my love life but he ain’t going to be eating many pork chops while I’ve got his teeth.

A downside to this whole pathetic story is about China almost destroying the Spanish swine producing industry by manufacturing shoddy boar hog semin bags. Chemicals in the semin bags diminished the fertility of the semin.

Now consumer pressure is forcing hog operations to put their pigs in larger, roomier shared pens so there is a little relief being created for the poor porkers but nothing, and I mean NOTHING, is ever going to replace the old hog heaven standards.

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