Christmas in NYC? Beware the Clowns in Comic Costumes.

Getting caught between the moon and New York City is a piece of cake compared to getting punched in the eye by Spider Man.

If you are planning a trip to the Big City be sure you do not take any selfies with Spider Man or any other Bozo in a weird outfit  for that matter. Times Square seems to be filling up with idiots costumed as cartoon and comic book characters. They want you to have a photo taken with them but once the picture is snapped, they expect a big tip for blessing you with their presence in the photo.

In recent months two different Spider Man characters have attacked people. One guy punched a woman and another struck a cop. Cookie Monster shoved a two year old and Elmo has unleashed an anti- Semitic tirade on the street.

Super Mario was accused of groping a woman. I always thought Super Mario was a sneaky looking dude. Look at him. You can’t even see his lips and how can you really tell what Cookie Monster and Elmo are thinking? They both have the wide-eyed, slack-jawed look of true idiot savants.

So whatever you do if you are seriously planning to visit New York City, do not mix, mingle or fraternize with local zombies who are out to scam you out of your money for a cheesy photo. Remember that hot temper of yours. Your first impulse may be to smack the hell out of any cartoon character tugging at your sleeve or reaching for your wallet.

Be sure you restrain the urge to kill the offender. Just two things can happen if you hit Mickey Mouse with your fist and neither one is a good thing. Either millions of kids are going to hate you intensely for smacking poor Mickey or………………you will be the laughing stock of America after Mickey whups your ass.         Maybe you should just stay home.


Order From

Believe it or not, even though there has been a massive rush in the sales of this fabulous and wonderful little book written for old people Amazon has recently discovered they still have eight or twenty-three copies in their rapidly diminishing inventory. Just click on the little lady’s blue shawl and you will go straight to where they can show you how to buy this small and happy book. Hurry. They could sell out any second now.