The Kensley Report III – To Kim Cooper Brooks from Ken Ken. Today we left Uncle Ben still mumbling some of those strange words to himself and working on the “Etsy” project and went to see Katy Perry. I wanted to see Magic Mike and tried to get Aunt Kay to slip down a door or two so we could catch old Mike in action. She said she would like to see that movie but she didn’t want to have to leave me chained by myself in a chair watching Katy Perry while she had all the fun.
We went and bought groceries. Aunt Kay said she hurt her back putting the bottled water in the trunk. Uncle Ben said “why didn’t you let old slim here help you?” He meant me. Aunt Kay said “as soon as I got the car started, she sat down in cool air. She can’t stand to grocery shop.” Uncle Ben said “you don’t help your Momma with the groceries?” I said “I don’t go to the grocery store with my Mother.” Uncle Ben said “what in the world are you going to do when you’re out on your own?” I said “my husband is going to buy my groceries and carry them for me.” Uncle Ben got choked on a chicken leg and when we managed to get the purple out of his face he gasped “I always knew you were going to be the perfect Lady Bulldog!
We are revisiting past projects. Uncle Ben likes saving soap and boiling it in huge pots and then pouring it into molds shaped like gerbils. We did soap a few years ago so we are looking for another project. He said he used to scrape the Mennen’s Speed Stick remnants from the plastic containers, melt them down and pour them back into the containers. He said he always thought it worked great for him until one night he and Aunt Kay went to a nice party and he was left standing alone on the dance floor when everyone there cleared the room. Even the band left but not before the drummer tried to beat him to death with a tambourine.