The Kensley Report #4 – 2012

The Kensley Report IV – Today was a strange day. I almost had to force myself to sleep until noon. It was tough but I made it.  A nurse came to see Uncle Ben. She even weighed him with scales she had in her car. Uncle Ben told her that scales hauled around in a car are never accurate and her scales were busted. She told him he was fat. She asked him a lot of questions about his health habits and I don’t think he told her the truth the whole time. She kept giving him strange looks and when I later asked him why, he said “I told her that one of my eyes is green and the other one is blue but you really can’t see it except in a certain light so she was just trying to catch me in the right light.”  Aunt Kay said “Uncle Ben lies. I saw him winking at that nurse.”

He did tell her how bright and kreative I am and that I was making jewelry for sell on Etsy. The nurse bought a bracelet and earrings from me. She was out of cash and blank checks so we let her take the goods and gave her a stamped self-addressed envelope so she can mail Aunt Kay the funds and Aunt Kay has already paid me the cashola.  Uncle Ben says you must never forget to sell and don’t be shy about talking about the money right up front. He says if the nurse doesn’t send him the money for the jewelry that he’ll call her company and tell them she kept winking at him even though she called him fat.

We went to see their realtor. He said I remind him of his daughter who is twelve and goes to Bulloch Academy. He left the room and Uncle Ben says that no way is his daughter cuter than I am because Bulloch Academy girls aren’t as cute as Deerfield girls.

We went to a Mexican Restaurant that looks like an East Indian cat house according to Uncle Ben. Uncle Ben and I had cokes. Aunt Kay had seven frozen margaritas. Uncle Ben said coke makes him dizzy so I had to drive home. Uncle Ben taped the tire iron to my right leg and sat me on the spare tire so everything worked out fine.

Tomorrow I volunteer at the hospital gift shop with Aunt Kay. I’m really excited.  I get to eat free. I hope they have plenty of cherry tomatoes in the cafeteria.