Don’t Let Your Dogs See You Naked.

dog on motorcycle

This is animal abuse of the worst kind. You wait until I tell the SPCA what you’ve done to me. All my friends ride in big pickup trucks, SUV’s and at least compact cars .Look what you’ve got me in. You could kill me like this!

dog at computer

I’ve even got all their passwords. They keep muttering them over and over between curses. You should see what he’s been watching on YouTube and you won’t believe who she’s been private messaging.

 

Are you a dog lover? Do you have a dog or two around the house? This should be happy news for you if you love your dog.

Many of you chat with your sweet puppy everyday but are you sure you know what the dog is saying to you in return?

You’ll soon know what Rover thinks about what you’re saying and you very possibly may have the great opportunity of having him tell you himself.

Scandinavian scientists are working on a design of special earphones that can be snapped to your dog’s head. Snapped is just a figure of speech. I don’t think they actually implant snaps in a dog’s head but you get the picture.

They are analyzing waves, patterns and electronic signals emitted by the dog’s brain and supposedly they can determine if the dog is slightly melancholy, deeply sad, grieving uncontrollably or uproariously happy.

Soon dogs will be transmitting their brain waves into computers that can transform the electronic signals into real words. You will be able to understand your pet’s needs immediately. This is wonderful. Could life with old Spot and Fido be more perfect? Won’t it be wonderful that we will know exactly what dogs are thinking and their thoughts can be interpreted by computers and the animals will be able to voice their concerns and converse with us? Won’t this make it a more wonderful world for all of us?

dressed up dog

I guess you think this is pretty funny. Just remember who’s eating snacks under the table when you have your poker buddies over. I might have to drop a line about how I catch you cross-dressing every night.

Oh, but wait. Let’s back up and give this whole idea a little more thought. Do you really want to know what your poodle is thinking? What if you have the girls over to play bridge and your poodle innocently says to you, ‘You know Mildred, you have the worst breath?’ The dog doesn’t know any better. Who ever taught manners to a dog? And to think you get this horrific insult from an animal who delights in licking her own fanny. I wouldn’t be surprised if the poodle has worse breath than you do.

imagine having a cocktail party and you find one of your guests sitting on the floor in a back bedroom talking to your two schnauzers and the dogs are telling her how bad you look without any clothes. Can’t you just hear the dogs snickering and giggling over your jiggling rolls of fat and that big wart on your left fanny cheek that’s shaped like the state of Rhode Island.

Order From Amazon.com

I know it’s probably hard to believe because you are old and you hate computers but this really works. Move the little arrow over the old gal in the blue shawl with your mouse and left click. You will go straight to Amazon.com and they will show you how to buy this book in the most effortless, seamless method you have ever enjoyed.

Just give it serious thought. Don’t ever let your dog see you naked and forget about ever, ever talking to your pooch. Your talking dog could define the most embarrassing moment in your life. Don’t do it.