This is a pretty sad story in that I have almost killed my old worn-out body taking all those crazy Halloween pumpkins back downstairs to a store room and then, closely obeying wifely instructions, hauling crates of lovely Christmas paraphernalia back up those same killer stairs.
The sad end result has not been my own death but the demise of the famous Christmas Mouse. He was not only an old Christmas pal but he was our tiniest holiday celebrant who joined us each year as we toasted untold thousands of people we never met or knew. There was a time when any name would do in a toast to the health of all. We would make the toast and then we would all lock arms and dance to “Zorba the Greek.”
These are the ornaments and decorations of Katie Mae, my lovely bride of nearly 40 years and to whom I have dedicated this little ditty about Christmas decorations and how much men love them:
Resting Places for Tired Old Bones
Grow Scarce and Mighty Sparse.
No Place to Rest Your Elbows,
No Spot to Park Your Arse.
Santas Hang Out All Over
In Every Nanny and Crook
No Place to Put My Coffee Cup,
No Place to Hide My Book.
I’m Afraid I’ll Trip on a Reindeer,
Or Fall Out in the Hall.
I’m Afraid I’ll Rip Down Some Precious Thing
That is Taped to the Kitchen Wall.
So I keep a Very Low Profile
And I Head for My Favorite Chair.
But I’m Having Trouble Fitting In
Next to a Christmas Teddy Bear.
I Pray I Will Last Until January
When We Can Pack Them All Away.
And Move Them Deep Down in the Basement
Where They Will Stay and Stay and Stay.
P.S. – I lied about killing The Christmas Mouse. The truth is I have only dropped three books on him and he looked in pretty good shape until I spilled that hot cup of coffee down his back. He’s okay and I look forward to packing him up until next December
This one I call “Santa the Plumber” or “The Santa of the Commode Tank Top.” I have a feeling he would be worthless if we had a plumbing problem.
Once again we have a horseless sleigh. Snoopy really doesn’t care. He knows Santa has his own system of sleigh propellant.
This is the bodyless Santa. It’s just his head that hangs from a switch on the lamp. He doesn’t seem to mind.
The Pantry Door Wreath. The hanger for the wreath loves to do battle with you to see if you can get the door closed once you have been inside the pantry.
This is the festive broom I’m forced to use as I perform charwoman duties about the old homestead. I cry a lot but no one listens.
Another angle of the fabulous sideboard smorgasbord.
And one more angle of the sideboard. I thought the small golden Christmas trees on the sideboard were interesting.
This snowman also guards our books. His long legs come all the way up to his armpits.
The snowman teapot is custodian of the books. He has never had a cup of tea.
The musical bear plays ten carols. I can sing them all but I’ve been asked not to.
The famous Christmas Mouse. He has always been a snappy dresser even in the off season.
The all-white (or cream colored) Santa is handsome but a little too stern for me.
This is my main man. He is the real deal. You can’t imagine all the gifts he has left me over the years.
This Candy Shoppe Teapot is one of many watching over our books. Very colorful isn’t it?
This is the big tree. More to come about the decorations on this, the regulation sized tree.
The Nutcracker is in charge but the Snowman spreads JOY. His bottom pieces seem to be from sea shells.
Another strange wide-eyed Nutcracker with one of our favorites, a clown on a horse.
Snowman Teapot. He never has tea. Would hot tea melt him?
A beautiful reindeer atop Katie Mae’s Desk. Her desk is covered in Christmas.
The sideboard smorgasbord is no place for old men. It is a disaster waiting to happen when we get near.
Kay’s desktop in its entirety. I never go near it for fear falling Christmas memorabilia will attack me.
The Backdoor Wreath. There is also one on the front door and one on the pantry door?
Paul’s bedroom Santa watches him Christmas Eve but Paul is not a peeper. He’s a sleeper.
These two damsels in bonnets and in a horseless sleigh seem to be covered up in holly and evergreens with no place to go.
Not So Wise Men trapped on a tiny table between a bedroom and a bathroom.
A lonesome pine on a dresser in a guest bedroom. Some nights I have to sing it to sleep.
Paul’s childhood rendition of Santa and his reindeer. I wonder if Paul is still fascinated with 40′ long whips?
I always thought this was a little Santa Claus. Now I see it’s a little girl and she’s been hanging out in Paul’s bathroom Christmas time for years.
Kay’s Aunt, Mama Doris Poulos gave this to Paul when he was a baby. Probably our favorite the music box plays “Toyland.” The horse’s head and tail go up and down as does the arms and legs on the clown.
This is Katie Mae’s center piece on the table in our kitchen breakfast nook. None of the contents taste very good. I have tried them all.
This is on an end table by our couch. Santa looks like he’s fleeing from the tiny Norfolk Pine Christmas Tree with the UGA pennant attached to it.
This Santa Pillow is one of two that decorates a bench in our breakfast area beside the kitchen.
This bad boy is a cookie jar that watches over the refrigerator and stove and keeps Bad Ben at bay. I guess I could turn up the stove heat and melt him down.
Another shot of Katie Mae’s watchful desktop reindeer. That’s an old antique (look-alike) lantern in the background.
Not much guessing to know these are Paul’s hand prints back when he was so much fun. Now one of his hands will cover this entire cloth.
The other bench-warming pillow. The Christmas Teddy Bear that also guards the bench in the breakfast nook along with the Santa pillow..